Good evening and welcome again to Show Me the Money, the financial program for individual investors. Tonight, we're happy to have United States Senator Elijah Kreek with us. The topic is cryptocurrency, and it's sure to be of interest to everyone, especially our older viewers. Welcome, Senator Kreek.
Well, thank you. Sadly, there may be a bit of delay, here, while my aide tries to find one. I assumed you'd have some on hand. Didn't know we had to bring our own.
We don't? While how am I gonna show you one if ... Oh, "money"? I thought it was Show Me the Monkey. So, maybe you can just bring me up to date a bit on the topic. I hope it isn't Trump's blood type, again. I thought everybody knew about him ... genotype-wise, that is.
I see. Cryptocurrency? Okay, well, to start off, I'm going to have to say, as many people say to me, "what?" Sometimes they add qualifiers like "are you talking about?" Sometimes they use an acronym, WTF. And especially in my home town, they might use the quaint colloquialism, "Huh?"
Oh, I see. It's that money-that-isn't-really thing. Tied to the world market price of kryptonite, I hear. We were talkin' about it just the other day, and the head of that SEC place told me it has something to do with a blockchain. Where I grew up, that meant a short length of log chain, one end around a cement block and the other one attached to a young fellow's leg so he couldn't leave the wedding ceremony early. Became popular after they stopped allowing shotguns in church. Except in emergencies, you know. Like Marxist insurrections. Or bears.
Now, the thing to keep in mind, if you're an individual investor, is to steer clear of Marxist insurrections. Bears, you can take or leave - I sure do - but those hammer and sycamore people are a little rude. Unless you have friends or family in Siberia. Or you like bears.
Speakin' of Marx, he would have taken a dim view of these crypto bucks, but you know how he was. Grouchy. And for good reason. But what can you expect of somebody who died before there was even that chat room thing, let alone tick talk or whatever it is? I never got the point of chat rooms, myself. A room full of people talkin about cats, in French? Bears I could understand, especially in German. Did you know that they've got whole houses over there, just for bears to eat in? Bären Munch Häuser, they call 'em.
But to get back to the topic here, the thing to remember is that cryptobucks aren't Fiat currency. That's what those of us who talk about economic things call small, under-powered money without four wheel drive. Doesn't perform well in the snow. Some days, not even in the rain. Now, you would think that'd be more popular down in the south of our esteemed broccoli ... country, I mean, where the sun shines and the birds cough and all that. Seems like those cars would be more popular. But somehow ... I don't know, the folks down there just seem to prefer something a tad bigger. It did give GM a nice bump up in the market when they figured out a way to convert all those old diesel locomotives into pickup trucks. The hard hat and flag crowd were enthusiastic. Bought a bunch of 'em. Especially the old Norfolk Southern ones. Didn't take a lot of imagination and black paint to fix that name right up.
What's that? How does the cryptohooey compare to hard currency? Well, it doesn't, really. I mean, all of that difficult stuff, hard or strong or even Grand Haven currency, it's all just so much ... harder. Harder to get. Harder to hang onto. And if you're really into ivy, you can use it to hedge yourself in. You know, so the bears can't see you.
But it's not just the bears you gotta worry about. When I was growin' up, the neighbors had a bull, And he'd come wanderin' into our north forty. One morning, my grandfather took umbrage - quite a lot of it - and although my grandmother told him ... that's a lot of bull, she said ... he went out to divest ourselves of the animal. He never was the same after that. No matter how much umbrage he took.
But the time's up, you say? Well, good. I hope I was able to properly address some of the concerns our older and even our younger investors may have about what ever it is they concern themselves ... with. Or at. Just talk to Jimmy, over there - the one with the monkey - and he'll tell you where to send the check.
Copyright 2021 by J. F. McLuggage
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