tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7746371298628381612024-03-19T13:19:41.602-07:00ProcArch PressProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-46499599182853353252023-12-19T06:35:00.000-08:002023-12-19T06:35:09.040-08:00Senator Kreek’s 2023 holiday message<p> Well, greetings to all. And sundry,
whoever that is. As they say. Or were we talkin’ about Sunday? I
don’t generally greet Sundays, given the rigors and social ferment
of Saturdays here in the Capital’s Nation. Or Nation’s Capital,
as some folks still call it.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">You know, this was all addressed in
that movie, the one by what’s his name, the Italian guy, Once Upon
a Mime in America? Oh, <i>time</i>? Well how about the book, then?
That one they claim was written by a wolf? Mime and the River?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">His <i>name</i> was Wolf? Huh. You
know, comin’ from where I do, somebody says “wolf” and you pay
attention. Just like “bear,” but sneakier. We still got ‘em up
there. Bears and wolfs. I do pretty well with ‘em, in terms of
votin’. And if you get ‘em to come to a meeting or a funeral or
something, it kind of keeps the press away. But anyway, what were we
talkin’ about? Saturdays and Sundays, I think it was. You know,
it’s a pity that the observation of the Sabbath is fallin’ out of
our socio-political ken. And as for our socio-political Frank, well,
hell, I haven’t heard from him in a woodchuck’s age.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">And while we’re on the subject,
speakin’ frankly, I haven’t heard much about Frankin’
privileges for a while, and I wonder why the Franks of our great
nation aren’t more up in the trees about it. Or Arms. I don’t
know where that term came from, up in arms. Most of my constituency
are well armed but out of the loop. Language is a funny old thing,
isn’t she?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">What? Hold on, one of the young people
who run around with me wants a word. I usually have a few to spare,
so … what’s that, Son? A holiday message? From who? Me? Why would
I send myself a message? I’m supposed to send it where? Excuse me,
folks, we gotta get this straightened out.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Okay, I believe I’m now on the same
paragraph with the action, if that isn’t a contradiction in terns.
Terms, I mean. We got off on that wildlife thread, and I sort of lost
my path. That happens a lot, up in my district. Chronic Path Loss, we
call it. Happens on Saturdays, mostly. And all the fault of the
chronic interns. I asked one once why he didn’t just go on and be a
doctor. He said he had to wait his tern. You gotta watch out for
these etymological guys. They don’t always know what they’re
talkin’ about.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Now then. What’s that? Now, then,
what? That’s what I was gonna say. Don’t know why I didn’t. But
if I have to, I’ll go on to express my heartiest wishes for
whatever it is people in our great polity and our lesser ones, too,
wish for me to wish them. From Ahmeek to Bete Grise, from Sidnaw to
Spread Eagle, Traunik to Green Acres … I know, I know. I made that
last one up, just to see if people were payin’ attention. Now, can
we wind this up? I have to go help the President say something
without really sayin’ it. He relies on me for that.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><i>Senator Elijah Kreek represents the
citizens in and around Lesser Evil, Michigan, and has served their
interests almost as well as he serves his own for decades. </i>
</p>
ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-76424215362501997782023-02-11T07:00:00.001-08:002023-02-11T07:00:19.648-08:00Senator Elijah Kreek's New Year Address<p> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoTitle"><span style="font-size: 18.0pt;">Senator Kreek's <s><span style="color: #bfbfbf; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-themeshade: 191;">2022
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal"><i>In just a moment, we'll join Senator Elijah Kreek in his
office ... ah, he's ready for us now. Here with his annual new year kickoff
address is the US Senator from somewhere in Michigan, Senator Elijah Kreek.</i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What? Oh, we're on? Okay. Let's get this over with. My
friends and indeed everyone else, I have to begin with an apology. Due to an
unfortunate misunderstanding with my staff, I seem to have overslept a bit. So
instead of presenting my usual holiday wrap up, with this ... event, I guess
we'll call it ... I'm switching to a kickoff spiel for what I assumed would be
the coming year, but seems somehow to be the current one. How the hell did that
happen, I asked my chief of staff, but he didn't really have a coherent answer.
If any of you out there is looking for a chief of staff, I could, I guess, introduce
him. And if you have a coherent answer, I could use one of them, myself.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">However, be that as it be, I've been doing this nonsense
long enough that I can certainly ... wing it, I guess, while keeping my insights
and outsights to their usual incredible standard of ... standards. And speaking
of standards, our great national standard is waving gallantly in the slight
breeze coming off the Pentomic - why it doesn't stay <i>on</i> the <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pen ... what? Potomac, I mean, is beyond me.
Why, in fact, the Chinese can't keep their baboons from floating around in the
clear, blue skies ... <i>balloons</i>, of course I meant. Baboons don't really
float, I'm assured by my team of experts, here. You can toss one in the water,
and he'll stone like a sink unless you throw him a line.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But what, I ask you, is or are the question or questions
that we should or perhaps shouldn't be questioning at this point in whatever it
is that we're pointing toward? Who is responsible? And where? And how damn much
is it going to cost? Those are the things that I assume the valiant voters who
ventured out to vote for me or someone else, as far as that goes, want? Or
need? And why was I not given a brief briefing in due brief before I sat down
make these brief remarks? </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now, those among you who are paying attention will probably
note that no one around me really is, to the point that I appear to you,
apparently, to not understand that I am, in fact, at this point in time, standing
up, not sitting down, to brief you briefly on ... these things? Why, I ask you?
Well, the answer is that you can't answer that. You're not here, and this isn't
one of those baboon meetings ... Zoom? Okay, fine. They both got double o's, don't
they? I mean, what's the difference? Baboon or zoom or whizzbang, it's all
going to be the same in two thousand years. And let's all hope it's better.
Won't be hard to achieve that, I imagine.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now if you'll excuse me, I need to bring this epic moment to
a close. I have to go over to the Senate and vote against whatever everyone
else is voting for, since you gave me what I choose to call a clear message
that you would do that, if you were here, and, you know, allowed to break into
the Senate and vote. At all. But you don't have to do that because you've got
me here to do it for you. Enjoy a peaceful and baboon-free year, and, assuming
nothing falls out of orbit again and impedes the democratic process, I'll be sharing
my vague impressions of the situation with you once again, at or around that
time.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>And there you have it. Senator Kreek's somewhat annual
message of ... something. Stay tuned for the Republican and Democratic Parties'
responses.</i></p><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: right;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Copyright 2023 J.F. McLuggage </span><br /></i></div>
<p></p><p>
</p>ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-26667206601741815642022-05-28T18:09:00.002-07:002022-05-28T18:09:49.994-07:00Sailing to Vladivostok<p>Panic was easy enough to come by<br />Down by the Dogger Bank,<br />When the sea was full of dancing lights<br />And dim shapes that might have been God knows what<br />Torpedo boats or anything at all.<br />And they opened fire, the Czar's fleet,<br />On British fishermen, <br />There in the fog.<br /><br />Steel hulls, men, boxes of machinery<br />Steaming from the Baltic,<br />Sent around the world <br />To reinforce failure:<br />The embodiment of Imperial Russia.<br />They weren't new ships,<br />Or even ships of uniform design,<br />The Russians didn't build in classes often,<br />But in ones and twos, haphazardly,<br />With the funds that trickled through<br />Layers of corrupt administration.<br /><br />How to say it? The fleet was a thing.<br />It was an act, <br />Something actually done,<br />Different from the daily getting by<br />And carrying on<br />That a bureaucracy performs.<br /><br />And when doing is the exception<br />And getting by is the rule,<br />The things that do get done<br />Reflect those who do them.<br />And that may be all they're good for,<br />And their only value.<br /><br />And so Russia sent an image of itself<br />Through the English Channel,<br />Past Gibraltar, around the Cape for Asia.<br />Tied to the speed of its slowest ship,<br />Led by Rozhestvenski to their deaths.<br /><br />And the sailors must have talked and thought<br />Hearing the engines thumping all night long,<br />Looking out the casemates day by day<br />Along the barrels of their guns<br />Stoking the fires<br />Stowing the hammocks in the messes<br />Serving meals.<br />They must have speculated, <br />Must have convinced themselves.<br />That there would be at least some self-respect.<br /></p><p style="text-align: right;">Copyright 2005 by Joseph McConnell<br /></p>ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-3743986325422759562021-12-16T08:47:00.000-08:002021-12-16T08:47:40.504-08:00Senator Elijah Kreek's 2021 Holiday AddressGood morning. It's nice to see those of you who I can actually see - those who have, in a manner of speaking, actually made themselves visible - on this Decemberish occasion, here in the Nation's political back yard, on the banks of that stream that, muddied with history, flows through the mud of our uncommonwealth.
<br><br>
Let me begin by asking, as I so often do on these occasions, for you all to reflect on a question that I - and I believe most of you have- posed silently or loudly for that matter, in the glorious past and the doubtful future, that is, "<i>why?</i>" Why are we here? And who's paying for it?
<br><br>
I know that I am not, anyway. My staff and Rod, over there, the young fellow with the tie and the appalled look on his face, assure me that I in fact <i>do</i> get paid for doing this sort of thing, and the wonder of that shines like a young woman's face in the snowy moonlight on the banks of the Tacoosh River, you know, northeast of Muskrat. Where the railroad tracks run between New and Old 35?
<br><br>
It always surprises me when I pass by that spot that there's not really anything there. Seems like there could be. Gas station, at least, you'd think. Or a Starbucks. But perhaps it's for the best. For where else, as we stand here on the erodin' banks of the Potomac, could we actually make a living doing this stuff we do, if there weren't little crossroad favelas, lost in the primordial soup of nature, footin' the bill?
<br><br>
The last time I visited my constituency, I put that question to the audience. "<i>Fred</i>," I asked, "<i>why do you put up with it?</i>" I'll never forget his response "<i>With what?</i>" he said. And I've taken that as a mandate and a sacred obligation. So let me conclude by quoting the beloved poet laureate of our beloved little patch of... well, not really turf so much as sand and pine trees... Mildred Mastodon. What? Oh, she's <i>from</i> Mastodon? Where's that, again? West of Sawyer?
<br><br>
Anyway, she wrote in her piece, <i>Notes to My Children</i>, "<i>Straighten up, dammit. And keep your hands to yourself</i>". I think we can all learn from that.
<br><br>
<i>Senator Kreek has announced that he will be running for or away from the Senate again in 2022, depending on circumstances.</i>
<br>
ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-2945934187712685502021-08-27T10:14:00.000-07:002021-08-27T10:14:36.711-07:00The Stars Came Otherwise<h2 style="text-align: left;">The second of the Peninsular Republic novels is available</h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09CW1H624" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="216" data-original-width="148" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh860SMRRc6c2hnUFZPNRx8S1HmaDyjVi1GhstLGcAzRskGcpypD7UEpfTpRlw8WOgJWJjDolw8JAIFjQwMmaJX9_pLOGNOHeVbIEs6KBFPoZRz6qQgpp9_O0mGdT8hs6hJ-uO-h3v-s7NQ/s0/StarsCameOtherwise_MSpub_Kindle_v2_webimage+.jpg" width="148" /></a></div><br /><h2 style="text-align: left;"><br /></h2><p>Picking up a year after <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B084B1Q2JV">Dog Island</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09CW1H624">The Stars Came Otherwise</a> brings Eden Gorsky to the national capital, first to investigate a financial crime, then to go deeper into a more disturbing crisis. While the Republic deals with a foolish but critical wave of discontent, Gorsky and her partner struggle with a massive winter storm and a demanding new challenge: talking a group of misguided revolutionaries down off a metaphorical roof. As she says:</p><p><br /></p><p style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: left;"><i>"I assume you read, Major, in my record, that while Big Bay was going on and I'd been a lieutenant for two days, the brass put me in charge of a whole naval base? On about ten minutes’ notice?"<br /><br />"I did know that, yes."<br /><br />"Well, this is crazier."</i></p><p><br />While the storm and the revolt proceed, the young woman who was physically and psychologically injured in Dog Island, comes back in contact with the trauma, re-encounters the attacker, and discovers the healing power of poetry and a goat emergency.<br /><br />The crises reach their climaxes at two roadside spots, one in the storm-stricken north of the Republic and one in the US President's rural hometown. And, in the midst of the chaos, there's still McConnell's trademark banter among his characters:<br /><br /></p><p style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: left;"><i>"You see, darling, I'm here by this dank tarn of Auber ... " Kristin waved in the direction of Lake Huron. "... in this raccoon-haunted woodland of Weir because <u>you</u> are. I'm a city girl. And the Capital may not be Paris, but there are at least things there. Things. Like restaurants. And music. And, you know, things."<br /><br />"There are things here."<br /><br />"True. I saw one just the other day. I had to stop while she and her cubs strolled across the highway."</i><br /></p><p><br />Come along in trains, planes, and motorcades as the story hints at its connection with the title, taken from Browning's <u>Caliban Upon Settebos</u>: </p><p style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: left;"><i>“Thinketh He made it, with the sun to match,<br /> But not the stars; the stars came otherwise.”</i></p><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09CW1H624">Available on Kindle or as a paperback</a>.</p><p><br /></p>ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-56130164452032909472021-05-20T05:31:00.002-07:002021-05-20T05:31:17.366-07:00Senator Kreek Appears on Finance Talk Show<p> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal"><i>Good evening<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and
welcome again to Show Me the Money, the financial program for individual
investors. Tonight, we're happy to have United States Senator Elijah Kreek with
us. The topic is cryptocurrency, and it's sure to be of interest to everyone,
especially our older viewers. Welcome, Senator Kreek.</i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Well, thank you. Sadly, there may be a bit of delay, here,
while my aide tries to find one. I assumed you'd have some on hand. Didn't know
we had to bring our own.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We don't? While how am I gonna show you one if ... Oh,
"money"? I thought it was Show Me the Monkey. So, maybe you can just
bring me up to date a bit on the topic. I hope it isn't Trump's blood type,
again. I thought everybody knew about him ... genotype-wise, that is. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I see. Cryptocurrency? Okay, well, to start off, I'm going
to have to say, as many people say to me, "what?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes they add qualifiers like "are
you talking about?" Sometimes they use an acronym, WTF. And especially in
my home town, they might use the quaint colloquialism, "Huh?"</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Oh, I see. It's that money-that-isn't-really thing. Tied to
the world market price of kryptonite, I hear. We were talkin' about it just the
other day, and the head of that SEC place told me it has something to do with a
blockchain. Where I grew up, that meant a short length of log chain, one end
around a cement block and the other one attached to a young fellow's leg so he
couldn't leave the wedding ceremony early. Became popular after they stopped
allowing shotguns in church. Except in emergencies, you know. Like Marxist
insurrections. Or bears.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now, the thing to keep in mind, if you're an individual
investor, is to steer clear of Marxist insurrections. Bears, you can take or
leave - I sure do - but those hammer and sycamore people are a little rude.
Unless you have friends or family in Siberia. Or you like bears.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Speakin' of Marx, he would have taken a dim view of these
crypto bucks, but you know how he was. Grouchy. And for good reason. But what
can you expect of somebody who died before there was even that chat room thing,
let alone tick talk or whatever it is? I never got the point of chat rooms,
myself. A room full of people talkin about cats, in French? Bears I could
understand, especially in German. Did you know that they've got whole houses
over there, just for bears to eat in? Bären Munch Häuser, they call 'em.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But to get back to the topic here, the thing to remember is
that cryptobucks aren't Fiat currency. That's what those of us who talk about
economic things call small, under-powered money without four wheel drive.
Doesn't perform well in the snow. Some days, not even in the rain. Now, you
would think that'd be more popular down in the south of our esteemed broccoli
... country, I mean, where the sun shines and the birds cough and all that. Seems
like those cars would be more popular.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
somehow ... I don't know, the folks down there just seem to prefer something a
tad bigger. It did give GM a nice bump up in the market when they figured out a
way to convert all those old diesel locomotives into pickup trucks. The hard
hat and flag crowd were enthusiastic. Bought a bunch of 'em. Especially the old Norfolk
Southern ones. Didn't take a lot of imagination and black paint to fix that
name right up.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What's that? How does the cryptohooey compare to hard
currency? Well, it doesn't, really. I mean, all of that difficult stuff, hard
or strong or even Grand Haven currency, it's all just so much ... harder.
Harder to get. Harder to hang onto. And if you're really into ivy, you can use
it to hedge yourself in. You know, so the bears can't see you.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But it's not just the bears you gotta worry about. When I
was growin' up, the neighbors had a bull, And he'd come wanderin' into our
north forty. One morning, my grandfather took umbrage - quite a lot of it - and
although my grandmother told him ... that's a lot of bull, she said ... he went
out to divest ourselves of the animal. He never was the same after that. No
matter how much umbrage he took.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But the time's up, you say? Well, good. I hope I was able to
properly address some of the concerns our older and even our younger investors
may have about what ever it is they concern themselves ... with. Or at. Just
talk to Jimmy, over there - the one with the monkey - and he'll tell you where
to send the check.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;"><i>Copyright 2021 by J. F. McLuggage </i><br /></p>
ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-51729230038637761402021-01-24T10:21:00.000-08:002021-01-24T10:21:02.856-08:00Senator Kreek On the Election<p> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">You know, you journalists really gotta get your minds out of
the rain barrel ... gutter, I mean. What kind of thing is that to be askin' a
public figure, especially at this hour of the morning? Seriously, I ... what?
Oh, <u>Eee</u>-lection? I see. Okay, let's start over. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">To answer your question properly and with due consideration
of the facts, I have to start by asking you for a preliminary clarification,
that is, what election?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Really? Dang. How'd I do? I was? Good. I can use the money.
Now, with that cleared up, let me say that I'm in favor of it, generally.
Provides work for a lot of our otherwise under-employed public servants. And
that electoral college thing. You know, when it's not electoral college
football season, some of those folks don't have a lot to keep their hands busy.
Or their feet. But then, every four or five years, the elections come up and,
bang, they're back in business again. It's the American way, keepin' those boys
and girls busy and out of trouble.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But it occurs to me that unless my memory is worse than it
usually is, and that's kind of difficult to visualize, I was probably not the
only one on the ballot. How'd all that other stuff work out? </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The Democrats took Georgia? Where? I thought that was all
settled in 1864? The forces of right and justice and all took Atlanta, but they
couldn't take it with 'em, so they rendered it pyrotechnically untenable. What
about my beloved home state? Anybody burn its capital? No? Well, that's good.
Gladstone needs a break after all they've been through. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It isn't? Did they move it out to the suburbs, out by
Kipling? You're kiddin' me! All the way down to Lansing? But you gotta drive US
2 all the way past Epoufette, across that silly bridge they got there - unless
you want to take the shortcut through the pipeline - and then the whole damn
way down 127, clear past Mount Pleasant, dang near to Jackson. But don't go
that far. Make sure you get off on Saginaw Street and take Howard south,
otherwise you'll miss Dagwood's, and there ain't another decent burger between
there and Ohio.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But I suppose I should ask, much as, to be frank, I'd rather
not know, who's the head of state, now? Who? Oh that guy with the dogs. Well,
that's probably good. I like dogs. And that other fella, the losing party,
what's become of him? Is he gonna do any penance? Or time, for that matter? I
suppose the wheels of justice have to grind him up fine, first, before we know.
I never paid much attention to him. He wasn't really our type. We're pretty
dang particular what sort we associate with, up there in the bear-infested
polity where I hail from. And it's a long way to hail from, I can tell you.
Sometimes you have to go up on the roof and hail from there, just to make
yourself heard. I know I do.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anyway, it's nice to have that over with. Now the nation can
get back to ... whatever it was it was doing. Mowing the national lawn or
whiting the sepulchers and plastering over the gaps in our national attention
span, you might say, although I doubt you would. Not clear why I said it, to be
honest. But best wishes to all, and may your year be a full 360 plus-or-minus
days. Or degrees, whatever.</p>
ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-69118718501685106952020-12-24T06:19:00.000-08:002020-12-24T06:19:10.797-08:00Senator Kreek's 2020 Holiday Message<p><span style="font-size: medium;">Well, hello. According to these briefing papers here, I'm supposed to say it's nice to see all of you. Not clear why, but I'm supposed to say it, whether or not I am. Saying it. Or even thinking it, to be candid, but they always warn me about that, so I won't be. Probably. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">
Every now and then, my assistants put me in a car and take me somewhere so I can see a bunch of people, standin' around, looking like they don't know why they're there. And that makes two of us. Or more. And then they expect me to say something. About it all. Whatever it happens to be, that particular day. And this situation here has the earmarks of one of those events. Me, not knowing why I'm here, talking to a bunch of people who don't know why they're there. And that's what makes democracy great.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Now I understand, it says here, that this year's been difficult. That we've seen more than our share of things. And experienced some unpleasant experiences. Many of us, whoever we might be, have had a lot of experience with experiences. Good or bad, whichever one. And our experience is what molds our ... molds. Our funguses, too, probably. I knew a feller from up around the Tacoosh River who had his molds experienced, and that worked out all right, but they fumbled the fungus functions, and he never was the same. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">You know where the Tacoosh is. It's right up there east of Trombly, and Trombly's as unincorporated a community as they come, so you can see the significance. But in comparison to the trials and tribulations and arrests of this here year, Trombly isn't even an adjective. Out there in the real world, where men are men and bears are whatever it is bears are, you just can't stand up in front of a lot of people in suits talkin' about bears when the house is on fire. Or the Senate, either, for that matter. This whole crisis we're facing, whatever it is, is positively existential in its nature, and nature ain't doing all that well, either. So as my advisors told me to say during one of the recent elections, our best bet is to existinguish whatever comes across our path. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Now I know this may not be a popular point of view, but, personally, I'm not all that averse to humanity bein' destroyed. Ugly bunch, most of 'em. But why does it have to be some damn thing so small you can't see it comin' after you? My idea of a real pandemic would be bears. They're big and furry, and they got legitimate grievances. Or koalas. I think I could still hold up my end of the fight against a koala, even at my age. Bears, maybe not. You have to reason with 'em. You know, like you do with that Johnson fella, over in the Disintegrated Kingdom. Or the Russian guy. What's his name? Sounds like that stuff the Canadians eat? Putain, or something like that. You gotta sit down with 'em and smoke a couple of peace reefers, compare tattoos, see if you can reach a common understanding. Or an uncommon one. More likely the latter, especially after a couple of them artisanal Abzerbajohnny Molotov cocktails. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Now, I have come, thankfully, to the end of my prepared remarks, and so you'll forgive me if I go on and make a few unprepared ones while my revolted .... that is, devoted staff of luminaries work out exactly where the door is and where they left the car. It's never been entirely clear to me why that word, luminaries, is pronounced the way it is here in the nation's capital. In the district I serve, we pronounce it with an "n" as the third character, especially when we're referring to the fine public servants who serve the other public servants servin' here in the nation's central nervous center. If you happen to see anything that would shed a light on any of that, please let me know. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">And now, in the absence of any further insight into issues of that nature or any other nature, really, I believe it's time we took our leave of this fine fabrication of pre-fabricated material, forming the very fabric of this here facility and hit the beltway. But remember, when in doubt, don't hesitate to hesitate about demanding clear and precise answers from your electric officials. You'll be less disappointed.
</span></p>ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-9404988177522528612020-01-30T08:07:00.000-08:002020-07-06T07:48:37.959-07:00Dog Island from Joseph McConnell is AvailableMcConnell's <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0996338578/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tpbk_p1_i0">new book is available</a> on Amazon.<br />
<br />
Dog Island is set twenty years in the future, in what was (yes, "was") the state of Michigan. Even in the new Peninsular Republic, there's crime and treason. That's probably the least surprising aspect of this new reality.<br />
<br />
Here's just a sample of the action:<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They put him in the back of Margie’s truck, and E let her
inform him of his legal position. “Sir,” the Private told him, “You are
arrested on a class one offense, possessing a firearm, and on a class three offense,
deliberately dangerous behavior. You’ll be confined at Nineteenth Battalion Security
Branch headquarters until the Judicial Department considers …”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Considers my case. I know how it goes. Well let me tell you
something, sweetie. Both of you.” He paused for a long breath. “Politics is
nonsense. Profit is just stealin’. Religion is pure bullshit. What matters … ” another
pause “… is whether people can just organize themselves. To survive.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span class="00EmphasisChar">I’ll be damned. A closet anarchist.</span></i>
“All right, Margie,” E said, “I’ll follow you back to Landing and show you how
to enter the arrest data. Then you can take him over to Company and they’ll
ship him off to Battalion.” She looked Kriter in the eye. “Remember, sir. At
the same time England stopped burning witches, it started hanging people who
forged banknotes.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“What? Who said that?”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Marx.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Mark who?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Karl.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Mark Carl. Huh. Never heard of him.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Margie drove off. E started her truck. When she looked up, a
large black dog was watching from beside the trailer. </span></div>
<br />
<br />
Click the "Dog Island" banner above to see more. ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-87611308692470682012019-12-09T05:41:00.000-08:002019-12-09T05:41:22.871-08:00From the Upcoming New Book by Joseph McConnell“Three more years, baby,” his wife said as he got in the truck.<br />
<br />“Don’t let those guys out of your sight,” he answered. “They don’t know one end of a beer truck from the other.”<br />
<br />“I won’t. Three more years!”<br />
<br />He backed the truck out onto the street and headed for the bridge. “Three more years,” he thought. <br /><br />
Out of the neighborhood, he turned onto Queen Street. It was like a drive through the Detroit suburbs had been, back, oh, even in the nineties. But the pavement was in good shape. Things seemed reasonably affluent. There were trees. That was the main difference. Where the foliage was cleared away, you could see the river, and that would have been a feature of at least Detroit’s northern neighbors.<br /><br />
As he came into the city, proper, the look and feel became older, but not in the way cities of his experience had aged. The buildings were elderly, two story, and brick, but they were still in use, not standing empty. Coming out the other side of downtown, things opened up, and the road became slightly more highway-like. Then it was just a quick right-left and past Canadian Customs. He went out onto the bridge, over the river, over the locks, and down into the Republic’s border check. <br /><br />
At the window, he showed his SB credentials, got a salute from the National Service private, and carried on. In keeping with his personal ritual for these trips, he started singing “Back in the USSR”.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>From Dog Island, by Joseph McConnell</i><br />ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-16271668514860260752019-12-01T06:22:00.000-08:002019-12-01T06:22:47.529-08:00Senator Kreek's Holiday Message<i>Good afternoon. Michigan Senator Elijah Kreek won re-election this year by a margin of thirty – thirty votes, that is, not percent – when his opponent was embroiled in mutual lawsuits between himself and a deer he hit. Both parties accused the other of being intoxicated, and ... oh, I see Senator Kreek is here to give his annual holiday message to the voters of Michigan and points north.</i><br /><br />Well, my goodness, but there are a lot of you here today! Usually when I see this many people, they’re all sittin’ at tables, and not paying much attention to ... what? This isn’t the Senate lunch room? Then why am I here?<br /><br />Deliverin’ a message? The State Department does that. Or the army. Or Amazon. But all right, if they’re busy, I can pick up the slack, I suppose. Where’s this message supposed to go, if I’m deliverin’ it? <br /><br />Folks, things are a bit confused, I find. These kids who follow me around and give me little hints and suggestions and things have apparently visited the Senate lunch room, themselves, already. They’re a bit confused. Or else I am. One or the other. Seems about fifty-fifty, most days. But the gist of it is, I’m supposed to deliver a message. To you, I guess. And if it’s one of my messages, who-all receives it isn’t usually that important. So brace yourselves.<br /><br />As my old father used to say to me on occasions like this, apples and oranges, say the bells of Alpena. He used to say that. Sometimes over and over, for hours. No one paid any attention to him. But it did give me a kind of appreciation for apt conjunctions. In our family, we used ‘em like soap. More often, frankly. But they had to be apt. There’s nothing worse than an inapt conjunction. Some days, I can’t abide even a half-apt one. But, as I was sayin’ ... hold on.<br /><br />More inspirational? Son, I don’t know how I can be any more inspirational. I’m always inspiring. But the thing is, you got to remember to outspire, too. You always gotta be doin’ that or you’ll keel right over. Happened to me just the other day. <br /><br />Inspiring and outspiring. There’s a nice, apt conjunction right there. Very apt. Reminds me of a fella I knew up in Neebish. Used to be a hog farmer, but then he gave it up and became an otorhinolaryngologist. Wrote an autobiography. Called it Days of Swine and Noses. There’s another one.<br /><br />Ma’m? You, down there in front? Do you know what I’m talkin’ about? No? Anybody? Too bad. I was hopin’ somebody could set me straight on that. You know, this isn’t easy, standin’ here and making it up as I go along. It’s an acquired talent, and it isn’t cheap to acquire, I assure you. That guy who pretends to be President ... you know, the one with the hair? He had to go to school nights to pick up the knack, and he still hasn’t grasped its finer points. Or its lesser ones, either. And in politics, grasping a lesser point can get you in a lot of trouble, both in the media and in Medea. That’s that story about some relative of Jason and the Aptronauts. Hell of a band, I have to say. They pay me to say it. <br /><br />Get to the point? The finer one or the lesser one? Reminds me of another piece of folklore, though. Two boys from Iron Mountain try to walk into a pub, but the door is a good three foot higher than it was the night before. “Dammit,” says Jim, “They’re always raisin’ the bar.” <br /><br />I like that story. Heard it from an old woman in my constituency. How she got in my constituency, I’ll never know. That’s an old Karl Marx joke. You remember him, he was so cranky, they called him “Groucho”. Anyway, I’m gettin’ the finger-across-the-throat signal from one of the boys, there, and that means it’s time to head for the Senate Lunchroom for a wee deoch an Doris. She was a waitress I used to know. She really put the ish in Inspeming. I remember ...<br /><br />Oh, right. Happy Saint Preservus’ Day, folks. Too bad I’m not representin’ Livingston County. I could say “See you in Hell.”<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Copyright 2019 J. F. McLuggage</i></div>
ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-53012069496485428622019-11-03T17:46:00.000-08:002019-11-11T06:23:44.024-08:00Coming Soon - Dog Island - A New Novel by Joseph McConnell<span style="font-size: large;">In the first quarter of 2020, ProcArch Press will release a new novel by Joseph McConnell. <u><i>Dog Island</i></u> <span style="background-color: red;"><span style="background-color: white;"></span></span>will take you two decades into the future. Twenty years out, how united will the United States really be? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Check back for dates and clues.<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><span></span></span></span>ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-40287538334517027052019-10-11T05:51:00.000-07:002019-10-11T05:51:56.462-07:00Sancerre<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Say "stone fruit" and some people<br />Will reply "peaches and plums".<br />Not what I mean.<br /><br />I mean Sancerre. sans oak,<br /><i>S'il vous plait</i>, and no malo,<br />Either.<br /><br />Some evenings, it seems to me<br />The single honest thing <br />Remaining<br /><br />In Europe or the western world. <br />A thing that is exactly what it<br />Ought to be. <br /><br />And nothing more nor less.</span></span><br /><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "baskerville old face" , "serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Copyright 2019 by Joseph McConnell </span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-65209020090915258832019-07-01T06:45:00.001-07:002019-07-01T06:45:32.269-07:00Corn Chowder<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Begun with bacon, finished with cream,</div>
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Dreamed in the Maritimes,</div>
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Golden yellow with</div>
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Ground turmeric and with</div>
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The corn itself.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Flecked with thyme.</div>
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Given to subtle pungency</div>
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By white and spring onions. </div>
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Thickened with corn milk</div>
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And judicious heat. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "baskerville old face" , "serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Copyright 2019 by Joseph McConnell </span></div>
ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-24850543464551219252019-04-24T08:29:00.001-07:002019-04-24T08:29:59.489-07:00Spider WebsSpider webs strung singly<br />
Between branches<br />
Appear and disappear<br />
At a distance<br />
As a breeze alters<br />
Their relationship to the sun.<br />
<br />
A bee, confused by spring at last,<br />
Examines me<br />
And my coffee cup.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
Copyright 2019 by Joseph McConnell </div>
ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-27417584635379801912018-11-15T07:29:00.000-08:002018-11-15T07:39:22.555-08:00The Dinosaur Game<h1>
</h1>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Carol knew Martha very well. She had three or four narrative
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No outrage, no surprise. For things with a social message, there'd be emphasis.
<span class="00EmphasisChar"><i>Booked a guy over in Riverview for assault. Black
kid knocked on his door, guy chased him away with a hammer. Kid was lost,
wanted to ask directions. Just directions!</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><i> </i>
</span></span>When there was no clear category, Martha's look and voice would
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and putting it neatly in a category. When she couldn't, she was unhappy. Carol
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<br /></div>
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We never know what's really going on. The dispatchers are supposed to get us
the basics, at least, but this just came out as a disturbance."</div>
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<br /></div>
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"In the force?", Carol asked. Martha smiled.</div>
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<br /></div>
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"We're the force. We're always disturbed." They'd
made this same lame joke many, many times before. It was one of their little
routines.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"So we get out there ... I'm riding with my trainee,
you know? Deshawn?"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Right."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"We go in, and there's the store manager with a lady
and this kid. The kid took a look at us and ran. To the back of the
store."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"He just ran?"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Yeah. So I left Deshawn to talk to the adults, and I waited
for the kid to find out the back doors are locked. You can't get out anywhere
but the front."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Still? I thought they got cited for that? Fire
regulations?"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"They did. But they say it's cheaper to pay the fines
than to take the theft loss."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Another reason not to shop there."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Indeed. But anyway, the kid finds that out, and then
he tries to hide. They don't have any kind of PA system, so I always grab our
bull horn when we go in there. I gave him the <i><span class="00EmphasisChar">We
just want to talk to you </span></i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>thing,
and he gives up."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Carol glanced at Martha's plate, noted its emptiness, and
pointed to the pasta bowl. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Oh, thanks, yeah, a little more. So in the meantime,
Deshawn is talking to the manager and the woman. I get the kid back up there,
and we try to find out what's been going on. The lady doesn't know the kid at
all. He's maybe 13 or so, says he's got no ID. But what happened, the lady says
she's shopping and the kid comes up to her, starts in on this long thing about
how he's her long-lost son, kidnapped by aliens. The lady tells us she's been separated
from her husband for twelve years, has one daughter in Illinois she hasn't
talked to in a month, got no son, never saw this kid ... but he won't leave her
alone. Tells her some kind of story about taking over the US with mind control.
The lady gets panicky and starts yelling. Manager hears it, and he calls us
first, before he even goes to see what's up."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"You know," Carol said, "you're the legal
expert, here, but I might think about ... what is it, <i><span class="00EmphasisChar">maintaining an attractive nuisance</span></i>? on that
store."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"They get their share of weirdos, yeah, but they sell cheap
crap at rock-bottom prices. There's people here who need that. Sadly."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Sadly."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"The kid won't give us anything. Not his name, not what
the hell he thinks he's doing. So we put him in the car. That usually helps. But
this time, not. All he'll say is that he can't talk about it. <i><span class="00EmphasisChar"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">They</span></span></i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> told</span> him he can't ever
talk about anything. And he won't talk about who <i><span class="00EmphasisChar">they</span></i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>are, either. So we turn up the heat. Take him
to the office."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Carol put more of the penne and red sauce on Martha's plate
and handed it back. They used to have a favorite Italian dive, out on the
highway, in a strip mall. It closed, and Carol decided to make their home
cooking and their dining space a kind of homage. Ironically, the food was
better at home.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"We get him into a room out there, give him a Coke, and
try it again. Slow day, nothing's really going on, and Dennis would rather
waste our time on it than one of the detectives', so fine. We'll solve this
major crime spree ourselves. Besides, it lets me show Deshawn a few of the
little methods and techniques. Anyway, we keep going around and around with the
<i><span class="00EmphasisChar">I can't talk about it</span></i> thing. We get him to
modify that to <i><span class="00EmphasisChar">I'm not supposed to</span></i> and then
to <i><span class="00EmphasisChar">They won't let me</span> </i>and finally to <span class="00EmphasisChar">T<i>he other guys in the game</i></span>." </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"The game?"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"The game. Exactly. So we're now working on <i><span class="00EmphasisChar">what game</span></i>? and he's all <i><span class="00EmphasisChar">I
can't</span>.</i> Deshawn asks him, "You mean, like Fight Club? You can't talk
about Fight Club?" But the kid's blank on that one. Never heard of it, as
far as I can see. But finally, we get him to say <i><span class="00EmphasisChar">The
Dinosaur Game</span>.</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Okay, then. I
pretend to remember something Deshawn needs to call somebody about, and he
picks up on it. Goes right out and looks up <span class="00EmphasisChar">The
Dinosaur Game</span> on the net."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>"Dinosaurs? Is
this some kind of ... what was that Pokémon thing ... finding monsters or
something?"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"That was my first idea. But it gets weirder. So
Deshawn comes back in, and he's having a hard time keeping a straight face. We
convince the kid we know all about it, and he's not getting out of here until
he gives us his name and we get his parents to come and pick him up. He's
scared, right? Did I say that? Almost in tears. And he caves, so we get his dad
to come get him. Dad shows up, we give Dad the <i><span class="00EmphasisChar">domestic
violence is a crime, no matter how much of an idiot your kid is</span> </i>talk,
and we turn the boy loose."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"So what's the game? What's the dinosaur part?"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"The goddam Internet. You just have to shake your head.
We dug into it a bit more, in case we run into it again, and it's just one of
those ... fads ... trends, I guess. Started with a creative writing program,
somewhere out west, at a college. Students got assigned to write something
ridiculous ... way off the page. Then, they all swapped stories and suggested
modifications until they got a set of things that maybe somebody might believe.
Some of the students put it online ... kind of a would-you-believe thing ... where
did that come from?"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"It was from an old situation comedy, I think. Get
Smart or something. "</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Anyway, the idea is that you go out and tell strangers
some nonsense, and see if you can get 'em to believe it. Six cases so far where
the kid playing it got assaulted and/or detained, but it's still going
on."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Oh ... Jesus Christ. How long before somebody tries
that on a gun nut or something? And gets shot?"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Matter of time, probably. Or it'll just fade away.
Like – I don't know – Sarah Palin."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"But what 's the dinosaur connection? Why <i><span class="00EmphasisChar">The Dinosaur Game</span></i>?"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Martha shook her head. She took a sip of the cheap red they
traditionally drank with their red sauce. <i><span class="00EmphasisChar">Are we
becoming Billy Joel</span></i>? she thought. "That was what was cracking
Deshawn up. These kids aren't super-literate. In the original posts about the
game, people described the kind of stories you were supposed to make up. The
word <span class="00EmphasisChar"><i>preposterous</i> </span>came up. But the kind of
kid this appealed to never heard of that. They thought it was pronounced PREpo
–STERous ... like a dinosaur."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"I weep for my country," said Carol.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<i> Joseph McConnell, 2018</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-60090155161244905622018-08-08T18:09:00.000-07:002018-08-12T05:20:03.813-07:00Howard's Boy<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Howard's Boy</span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Joseph McConnell</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Copyright 2018 08 08</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">A short play in 1 act</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Howard's Boy
character list</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">HOWARD, 40s, white, supervisor of some sort of work team. Possibly the
first in his family to rise above laborer. Blunt and colloquial in speech.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">KURT, a peer of Howard's. Just an audience for the story Howard is
telling.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Howard's Boy</span></div>
<div class="Directions">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">SCENE 1</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span class="DirectionsChar"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">(Interior: A break room or
"coffee room" at Howard's place of work. Cheap folding table and
chairs. Low, repeated, vaguely industrial noises off. As we open, Howard is
speaking to Kurt.)<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></span></span></div>
<div class="Directions">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> HOWARD</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Boy came to the house yesterday. Just walked in. Asked if he
could come and stay for a while. The people he'd been living with booted him
out.</span><br />
</div>
<div class="Directions">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> KURT</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Oh, yeah?</span><br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>HOWARD</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Yeah. I didn't really want to hear it, you know. Didn't want
to be easy on him. But my wife talked to him. Sat down with him and tried to, I
don't know, find something we could do. To help. Or see if she could talk to
the parish or something. Get him a place to live by himself. She was going to
talk to Alice, down at the grocery, see if he could box things or stack things,
make a little money. But he didn't seem to hear any of it. Just kept shaking
his head, saying he'd tried that.</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>KURT</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">That's a shame.</span><br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>HOWARD</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">It's hard to ... to think of things. To know what to do for
somebody. I don't know what he's been doing. Where he's been. Who's his friends
or, hell, enemies for that matter. Has he been in jail? Has he been, you know,
taking something? His clothes were a mess, too. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>KURT</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Sad. That we, I mean, all of us, let that sort of thing
happen to a boy, but still ...</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>HOWARD</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I know. But it finally just got to be ... just obvious. Just
nothing we could say would really, I guess, reach him. At the end of it, I gave
him a twenty dollar bill. I let him have that. And we said, both of us, that he
couldn't stay with us, anyway. There was just nothing we could do if he
wouldn't try.</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>KURT</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">So he took that?</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>HOWARD </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">He did, finally. Just left. Took the money.</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>KURT</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Wasn't that kind of cold, though? On your part?</span><br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>HOWARD</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I didn't like it. I didn't sleep very well last night. Or my
wife, either, I suppose. But what other things we could have done, I don't
know.</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>KURT</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">But ... I mean, just tossing him out. You know, family and
all. He is your son, after all.</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>HOWARD</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">What? He's not my son. We don't have any children. I never
saw this kid before. He just came to the door.</span><br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span>CURTAIN</span></div>
ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-33576466586238777612018-04-22T11:30:00.000-07:002018-04-22T11:30:22.759-07:00The art of the Peanut Butter BoneJust for the hell of it. ...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-89599221450496073802018-02-02T18:28:00.000-08:002018-02-02T18:28:08.653-08:00Senator Kreek Speaks on Groundhog Ceremonies<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good morning! Always a pressure ... <i>pleasure</i> ... to meet
with members of the press gang. I didn't know that the proud traditions of
American journalism went back that far. Or that it had much to do with
recruiting. But you learn something new every day. I do, anyway. Problem is
remembering what it was, the next day. That's why I have all these people who
follow me around. To help me with things like that.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, I had some prepared remarks for you, but sadly, they
got over-prepared in an honest misunderstanding regarding the coffee maker and
a copy machine. And so, in honor of national ground hog day, I'll share with
you my personal, secret recipe for sausage.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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What? But this feller here just said it. He said <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ground hog.</i> I heard him, as clear as I
hear anything, which, to be perfectly honest, isn't all that clear. So he might
have said pound smog, I suppose. Makes almost as much sense. But to an honest
old Ishpeming boy like myself, ground hog means sausage. Period. Except when
it's used in the vituperative voice. You know, the one your mother used to get
you to stop bothering the hogs.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Groundhog</i>? All one word? Well, why not say so in the first
place? Why waste a perfectly good space between 'em? Nothing I hate more than a
waste of space, especially in governmental affairs. And I should know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But if we're gonna play by those rules, okay,
what's the difference between ground-space-hog and groundhog all-one-word?
Sounds like splitting bears, to me.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That, sonny, is a woodchuck. Don't try to pull them fancy Rogers
City games on me. If there's one thing I'm at least reasonably certain about,
it's wild critter taxonomy. You know what taxonomy is. It's that science thing
the Party of Limpkin is always trying to juggle. No, I don't mean Lincoln. He's
dead, and he wasn't a bird. Limpkin is a bird, <i>Aramus guarauna</i>, and it's
indigenous to parts of our beloved south. I use <i>beloved </i>advisedly, there, in as
much as I've been advised against using it at all.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But to bring things back onto the track, looking both ways
first like Mom always said, so it's groundhog day? And this is somehow involved
with the weather? Phil, did you book me into one of them damn climate denier
festivals, again? Those people are nuts. If you want to deny the climate, go
somewhere where there is one. This ain't a climate. This is a Fiasco.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Fiasco</i>, smarty pants, is an Eye-talian car. They look nice,
can't start worth a damn in the winter, September on through June. And most of
'em are so small, the road commission finds dozens in the snow banks every
spring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still got people in 'em, living
a primitive existence, eating woodchuck jerky and fake Eye-talian leather
upholstery.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, enough of this witty repartee, what did you want to ask
me about wood hog day, or whatever it is? Hurry it along, too, I got to get
back to DC. Missing an impeachment party.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
Copyright 2018, J. F. McLuggage</div>
ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-1128271834580633552017-12-31T18:10:00.000-08:002018-01-22T11:38:21.482-08:00Senator Kreek Changes Parties <br />
All right now, Sonny, I'm here. Stop foolin' with my collar, and let's get this damn thing over with.<br />
<br />
What? It's alive, Mike? Who's Mike? <i>This?! It's alive? Ewww! Get it off me!</i><br />
<br />
Oh, all right. Why didn't you just say so? Don't know why it'd be turned on, but to each its own. As long as it doesn't bite, I don't care about its personal preferences. So ... start holdin' up the cards, and let's see if we can get this done in one fake. Take, I mean.<br />
<br />
I have had a long and successful career representing the interests of my constituency ... anybody ask them about this? ... constituency, as a member of the Democratic Loon Party. I became a loon early in my life, and as long as I paid any attention to politics, it seemed to me that the DLP and I were made for each other. But now, in this here crisis of coincidence ... what? ... <i>confidence</i>, I feel that my efforts to uphold the principles of whatever it is my voters want upheld would be best served if I were to shift my allegiance into drive and ... I don't have an Allegiance, it's a Peugeot. Oh. Shift my allegiance TO a new alliance ... are you sure we're not talking about cars, here? ... to a new alliance of common interests, and they don't get any more common, I assure you, which we have decided to call the Injured Party.<br />
<br />
Now I know some of you out there are asking yourselves, "I thought I googled panda porn. How did I get this nonsense?", and you might be right. Quite a few of you seem to be, lately. But I assure you there's a clear, logical, and compelling explanation for the change, and when we figure it out, we'll let you know. For now, let me just say that we hope we'll garner sympathy votes with this name.<br />
<br />
Having thought of the name, incidentally, while reading a couple of fascinating subpoenas sent to one of my colleagues in the Senate, it occurred to us ... I say us, because my assistants usually read things to me while I take copious notes ... that our press releases and bar tabs would be much more appealing to the general public ... especially over at the Pentagon where they're all generals, more or less .. if they were to start out "The Injured Party testified ..."<br />
<br />
Incidentally, in case any of you are concerned over the state of my health, physical or mental, preposterous as that may be. let me assure you that I've never been any more robust, healthy, wealthy, and wise ... healthy and committed ... to the institutions of our great system ... nation than I am today. In other words, there's no change. Spare or otherwise, climate or ... primate.<br />
<br />
Sorry, lost the thread there. The bubble, as they say. But still, I'm sure that you, the proud members of the National Association of Rutabagel Producers, will agree that a vote for me or my opponent either, for that matter, is a vote for something. And that's easy for me to say, especially since I just thought of it now. My old mother always used to tell us "A new thought is a blue thought," and while no one knew what she meant by that, we all agreed that she was deeply whatever it was that she was. And you better believe it.<br />
<br />
So in collusion ... <i>conclusion</i> ... I want to assure you that regardless of name, those of me who make up the core of the corps of the Injured Party will do our downleft best to include you in the growing conglomeration of those who are deeply injured. Thank you, and have a hippy ... <i>harpy</i> halidays.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>J. F. McLuggage, 2017</i></div>
ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-36257460994026914162017-04-23T07:26:00.001-07:002017-04-23T07:26:25.666-07:00From Driven by the Trades, Now Available on Kindle<b>The Trade Winds</b><br /><br />"21, go ahead." The older officer responded to the radio. There'd been nothing for him or his trainee for almost an hour. The joint city/county dispatcher was going back and forth with a sheriff's deputy about a robbery out in the Township, but Ann Arbor was being law-abiding or at least getting away with its crimes unnoticed. <br /><br />"21, suspicious person, walking south on State, 2000 block, up near the buildings. Male, possibly black. East side of the street."<br /><br />"Good example of the crap we get this time of the morning," the officer said, speaking to the young man next to him. It was 4:49 AM, according to the dashboard clock. "A guy's walking along in the rain, and somebody calls it in."<br /><br />"Let's go see him." The patrol SUV turned south off the residential street where they'd been waiting for the morning's traffic accidents to start.<br /><br />Along the west side, there was no way for a pedestrian to walk suspiciously. The university's athletic buildings and fields and golf course were more than adequately secured, and they butted right up to the sidewalk. The light at the railroad crossing was green, and they went on past Stimson Street on the east, then past the Produce Station and a sausage shop. A vacant lot followed, then a body shop, and finally, back from the street, a small office building. <br /><br />"There we go," said the driver. There was a man walking along the front of the building, partly shadowed from the street lights by the second floor overhang. There was a driveway just beyond it, and they pulled in, effectively blocking the man's path.<br /><br />They got out. The older officer, Kurt, greeted their subject. "Good morning, sir. You're getting kind of wet, aren't you?"<br /><br />"Yes, sir," said the man. He was, in fact, African-American, and he looked old, almost elderly. "Naturally, it'd start rainin' now."<br /><br />"We just wondered if you were all right. Someone saw you, thought maybe you might need some help."<br /><br />"No, sir, no. I'm just walkin' home."<br /><br />"Home? Where's that?"<br /><br />"Why, up there, off Ellsworth. In the apartments."<br /><br />"That's a long way."<br /><br />"Yes, sir. It is. But I'm used to it. I work for the university."<br /><br />"Okay. Any reason why you'd be walking up close to these buildings? Not out on the sidewalk?"<br /><br />The man smiled. "Oh, yes, sir. Plenty of reason." He held out his hand, palm up, and the rain splashed on it. "Keepin' out of the rain."<br /><br />"I see. Do you have some ID I could look at?"<br /><br />"Oh, sure." His coat came about to mid-thigh, and instead of hiking it up in back, he unzipped it and pulled it open. "I'm just reachin' for my wallet, now. All right?"<br /><br />The younger officer had stepped slightly sideways, and he could see where the man's hand was going. He said, "Yes, go ahead."<br /><br />The driver's license the man produced was current, and the address was a street Kurt knew, lined with townhouses. Across from the city's main landfill, in fact. "That's what, two miles or something?"<br /><br />"Well, more like a mile and a half, sir. I cut over on Eisenhower, go down to Stone School and get over the highway there. I do it every day."<br /><br />"Okay. Well ... it's just going to keep on raining, apparently. Can we give you a ride?"<br /><br />"Oh. Well, that would be very nice of you, sir. Very nice. I'd appreciate it."<br /><br />The man got in the back of the SUV, and they took him home, going the formal, right-angle way, crossing the freeway on State, then around the traffic circle and east on Ellsworth. They dropped him off, watched as he went up to a door and opened it with a key.<br /><br />"You know, Mike," the older cop said as they turned the vehicle around, "he had a UM facilities uniform, ID, and everything. Walking two miles home in the dark, ducking under awnings to stay dry. And somebody called him in as 'suspicious'. What if he'd been white? Think we'd have ever heard of him, let alone stopped him?"<br /><br />"If he'd been a deer, we'd have had SWAT out here." The city had just gone through a nasty period of shaming and counter-shaming among citizens and council members over a project to reduce the whitetail deer population.<br /><br />"Oh, well. At least we could give him a lift home." They turned right out of the complex, headed back west toward State. The radio woke up again. <br /><br />In the next few seconds, the early morning collapsed away on each side, tunneling into a narrow path, smoothing and streaking and blurring at the edges. The important features were lights falling away behind them as they sped up, rain hitting the windshield with increasing force, drops smearing with the wind and smearing the world. Things became more of a shooting script than a narrative.<br /><br />The view shifted to a higher point, looking downward at the SUV as it slid out its rear wheels going around the traffic circle. North on State, with the flashers making the Quick Lube a surreal red and blue work of public art. No traffic on the other side of the boulevard, ominously empty. They went through the light at Research Park, a car braking hard to let them by. A glimpse of the driver's startled face, tinted blue. The radio still babbling. A U Haul office snapping by on the right. Ahead, the road going up to cross the freeway. Cresting the overpass. "Holy shit!"<br /><br />To the left, at the westbound entrance ramp, two cars upside down. A third visible down the ramp, burning hellishly. A Pittsfield Township patrol car, sideways across the southbound lanes of State, both officers out with long guns. Fire trucks coming in from both directions. State police coming from the east on the freeway, bouncing over the shoulder and getting jammed up in the ditch. Our two officers out of their car, running in, side-arms drawn. A man weaving toward them, on foot, with his clothes on fire. In close-up, a woman standing in the rain, her arms over her head, and her face twisted into a grimace of sheer horror. Shouting. Sirens. And above all of it, rain, dark clouds, and a flash of lightening. <br /><br />Two and a half hours later, Mac MacArthur set down his plate of toast and the first cup of coffee. He perched on a kitchen stool, got his phone out, and unlocked it. As he usually did, he opened the Detroit Free Press news site first. "Jesus H. Christ!" he said, aloud. His dogs looked up, surprised at his tone. Colleen MacArthur looked up, too. "What now?" she asked him. <br /><br />"Look at this," was all he said, passing her the phone.<br /><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
From <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071KQFVVY" target="_blank"><b>Driven by the Trades</b></a> Copyright by 2017 Joseph McConnell</div>
<br />ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-41073230205945328582016-11-15T07:19:00.000-08:002018-01-22T11:42:27.143-08:00Sen. Elijah Kreek's Healthcare Bill<i></i><br />
<i>Ann
Arbor, June 3, 1915 (WCNS) US Senator Elijah Kreek (L, Michigan), spoke
at a press conference this morning in Washington, held to announce his
plans to introduce a completely new national healthcare bill. Senator
Kreek's address is reproduced here.</i><br />
<br />
Hello? Is this
thing Ron? I mean, Ron, is this on thing? The thing, you know, is it on?
Okay. Good. Don't want to waste anybody's time, talking to some off
thing.<br />
<br />
Now, about that word, off. I've been usin' it
for years, off and on, and you know, I wonder why I haven't ever
stopped. Stopped to wonder, that is. Wait. Who wrote this foolishness? I
stop to wonder all the time! Oh, about the word <i>off</i>, eh? Well, why didn't you say so? I did. Just then.<br />
<br />
Anyway,
what do we mean off? I tried to giggle it on the Internet, but all I
got was some nonsense about bug repellent. I've known plenty of bugs in
my time, and most of 'em were repellent enough without having some goop
sprayed on 'em. And lizards? Don't get me started.<br />
<br />
Healthcare.
That's what it says on the card that young fella's holdin' up. No,
wait. There's more. It says Healthcare Bill. I don't know anybody by
that name, though. Used to hang around the Orgone Box with old Wilhelm
Reich. Some people called him Healthcare Bill because they thought he
needed some. The Orgone Box was a cafe' and hookah bar in North Lansing,
by the way. I always thought those DEA fellas were too hard on 'em. The
owners.<br />
<br />
Now he's gone and written something on the card. <i>Your</i> Healthcare Bill it says now. Oh, <i>My</i>
healthcare bill? He's nodding his head. Up and down. You oughta get
that looked at, Son. You're too young to have your head flopping around
like that.<br />
<br />
I recall once, up in Ishpeming or somewhere
like that, I went to a doctor. A veteran, he was. Said so right on his
sign. Spelled it wrong, but I won't hold that against him. Anyway, I
wanted him to do something about my rheumatiz. "Where is he?" the doc
says. Well, the conversation went downhill from there. He ended up
putting a big cone-shaped thing around my neck. I wore it for a while,
but it was hard to see where I was goin'. Still have it, though. I wear
it instead of a necktie when I go to embassy dinners. Helps me
understand what the foreigners are sayin'.<br />
<br />
But when I
got the bill for all that, I said to myself and three or four other
people, "This here healthcare bill is incomprehensible!" And they
couldn't understand it. Incomprehensible. They didn't know what it
meant. Means stupid, by the way, if you don't know what it means,
either. And that got me all up on my high horse about it.<br />
<br />
After
I fell off, as I usually do, I got up on my short horse and rode over
to the Senate. The Senate was another hookah bar, you understand. And we
talked about it, healthcare, that is. The bartender and I. And he said,
"You oughta do something about it." And so I did. I am. Now, finally.<br />
<br />
What's that? Oh, he's pointin' at the card again. Now it says Explain it. What? I <i>was</i>
explaining something, there, but you made me lose my thread. Now he's
back to Healthcare Bill, again. You know, I'm not sure I recognize him. I
usually do, those kids who hang around and sort of give me a shove in
one direction or another. But this one ... I don't know, he might be a
demonstrator or a perpetrator or one of those "ator" types. There's
usually a lot of 'em around, holdin' up signs, I notice. In fact, I was
coming through the airport just yesterday, and there was a guy
protesting something called the "Kardashian Party". I don't really know
any of those Russian types, but a party is a party so I said ...<br />
<br />
What?
Oh, good. Time's up. Anyway, vote for me or even this Healthcare Bill
fella, whoever he is. I'll see you all back at the Senate, those of you
who are old enough, anyway.<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">Copyright 2015, ProcArch Press, Sen. Elijah Kreek</span></i></div>
ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-21731931191227043682016-11-15T07:15:00.000-08:002018-01-22T11:42:46.245-08:00Senator Kreek Addressed the Ann Arbor City Council
There are a lot of people wanderin' around my office these days.
Some of 'em, I even recognize. This one young gal, for example, is the
one who's always giving me pieces of paper. I keep tryin' to tell her I
have plenty of paper, thanks, you keep it. But she doesn't. She makes me
keep it. It's gettin' hard to see around the stacks of it. But it
dawned on me, maybe it's a security measure. Givin' me something to hide
behind, you know. In case that Trump fella busts in or maybe one of my
constituents.<br />
<br />
Anyway, this morning she handed me
another piece of paper. She wanted to know what I thought of it. "Well,"
I said, "it's flat. And sort of white. Got nice black ink on it, too."<br />
That
wouldn't do, though. She said she meant the content of it. What it
said, you know. Why didn't she say so in the first place, is my
question. But so, I read it.<br />
<br />
Turns out, it was all
about these guys in Ann Arbor and how they're all worked up over
managin' deer. With my eyesight bein' what it is, I read it as "beer
management" at first, but the young lady straightened me out on that.
And she said it'd be a good idea if I could address the issue. So, here
goes.<br />
<br />
First of all, I hear that they got some kind of
college there in that town, and that a lot of people hang around it,
talkin' about management. Now, I didn't know that managin' deer was that
much of a problem, with regard to the nation's economy, but I can't
see, if it is, why it's any more difficult than managin' anything else.
As my old pal, Walt Kelly, suggested, time was when a worker'd be happy
if you gave him fifty cents and a pat on the back with a shovel. But I
guess with deer, it'd be a little ambiguous just where to deliver the
feedback. They're pretty fast, too.<br />
<br />
Another thing I
noted is that somebody in that town don't know how to spell. I had to
read that word, "cull", five or six times before I got it. For your
future guidance (as they say to me a lot around the Senate), that's
spelled with a "K" and an "I". I looked it up. College town like that,
you'd think they wouldn't make that kind o' mistake.<br />
<br />
But
then, I got to the real crucks of the matter. That's "crucks". A cross
between "crocks" and that Ted Crux fella. Throw in "crooks", too, while
you're at it. Perfectly good word.<br />
Anyway, the crucks of it is in
the details, as it usually is. Details without a crucks is like a
candidate without voters. Like Rick Perry. Or Millard Fillmore. Yeah, I
know he's dead. So's Rick Perry. But my point is, they're gonna have
these sharkshooters, runnin' around after dark, with silenced gums,
trying to cull things. Now, that may sound sensible to you. It did to
me, for a while. But then I looked up Ann Arbor on a map, and dang if it
ain't a long way from anywhere you'd expect to find sharks. Twenty,
thirty miles, at least. So I went back to the woman who brought this up,
and I said, "This here is incomprehensible to the ordinary mind. And
where we gonna find one o' them?"<br />
<br />
"<i>Sharp</i>," she said. "<i>Sharp</i>
shooters." So I went back and re-read it with my glasses on. But I
still couldn't make head nor tail of it. If you can, well, I suppose you
could talk to the lady in my office. I'd give you her phone number, but
I can't remember her name. Or if she has one. A phone, I mean. So
probably the best thing is just to hope it goes away. I know I do.<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">Copyright 2016, ProcArch Press, Sen. Elijah Kreek</span></i></div>
ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-21716155872760648472016-11-15T07:01:00.002-08:002018-01-22T11:43:23.377-08:00Previously Undescribed <i>At one point, a collective of academic
figures and literary luminaries discussed the creation of a journal
dedicated exclusively to brief notices of new findings in the
humanities. The project was abandoned due to a crippling preposition
shortage in the Midwest, but the following four short pieces exemplify
the style and subject matter that was in contemplation.</i>
<b> </b><br />
<br />
<b>Worminster's Monkey</b><br />
First
reported in 1879 by the Reverend Thomas St. Jude Worminster, this small
creature was thought to be extinct, primarily because no one but
Worminster ever subsequently claimed to see one; some reservations were
expressed by others on the grounds that, as far as can be determined,
Worminster himself never left England. However, recent extensive
surveys of remote Sumatran forests have produced one blurry trail camera
picture, backed up by numerous cell phone shots taken by students on
holiday, of a small monkey that clearly matches Worminster's
description: an animal with four legs, two ears, and a coat of brown
fur. (This is Worminster's description of the monkey, not a description
of Worminster - Ed.)<br />
<br />
Worminster's notes on the animal's
call -- something like a first-year Divinity student, reading Milton
aloud -- could not be confirmed. On the strength of the photos, though,
Worminster's Monkey, Cercopithecus Miltoni Worminsterii, was
immediately given IUCN's Critically Silly status.<br />
<br />
<b>Bishop's Lacklustre, Warwickshire, UK
</b><br />
Bishop's Lacklustre is a small port on the Yangtze River,
thirty versts below Copenhagen. In 1809, Viscount Nelson turned a blond
eye to his orders from Neville Chamberlain and burnt the town, along
with its copra-processing facilities. In the mid-nineteenth century, the
eponymous Bishop attempted to undercut Canadian fur prices by
establishing huge beaver farms in the vicinity, located along the plashy
verges of the Nile tributaries, resulting in municipal, Episcopal, and
moral bankruptcy. Bombed by both sides in the Second World War in an
effort to destroy the Voysey Wallpaper Works, the town no longer exists.
In 2003, a paper published by Lars-Erik Flendt of the Max Planck
Institute seriously questioned whether it ever had.<br />
<br />
<b>Girl with a Chip on Her Shoulder, by Vincent van Gogh</b><br />
While
the light and the rustic scenes of Arles may have driven Van Gogh's
high period, there is a body of documentary evidence that the local
people had their effects as well, perhaps in a less positive fashion, on
the output of his last years. The somewhat sardonic expression of
Madame Ginoux in 1890's <i>L'Arlésienne </i>is explained by a
newly-authenticated letter from the artist to his brother, Theo, in
which he describes a cousin (or perhaps housemaid?) of Ginoux as being
"...<i> très difficile</i> ..." and " ... <i>toujours se plaignant au sujet des tripes</i>
... " (always complaining about the tripe.) The girl in question is
thus almost certainly the one depicted in his last portrait from Arles,
showing a young woman of about 30, standing, dressed in a blue gown, and
threatening the viewer with a broom. A dog, prefiguring in many ways
Matisse's much later <i>Interior with Dog</i>, is scrambling, with a greater sense of motion and urgency than we often see in Van Gogh's work, to get under the couch.<br />
<br />
<b>The Battle of Old Sodbury</b><br />
For
many years, the battle of Old Sodbury was considered to have been a
skirmish between mounted elements of the Scots and English armies,
maneuvering in the week prior to the more conclusive fight at Flodden.
Only one contemporary chronicler, Auld Wattie's Daub (the Bard of the
Bog) provided any details. However, nothing loathe, a number of recent
historians have used differential analysis and applied numeric norms to
arrive at estimates of the forces engaged. By working from the typical
composition of early sixteenth century armies, both Parker and his
Netherlandish colleague, Henri-Joost Wafle, estimated that 150 to 200
Scots light cavalry or “prickers” rode south toward Old Sodbury on the
morning of September 1st, 1513, where they discovered a slightly smaller
force of English scouts, numbering around 130. A short engagement
resulted, with both sides falling back toward their respective main
forces.<br />
<br />
On the strength of these analyses, the Town
Council of Old Sodbury erected in 1972 a stone cross on the high street,
giving the date, a brief description, and the names (somewhat
speculatively) of the commanders of each party.
Unfortunately, more recent scholarship, involving a better translation
of Daub's Scots/Flemish manuscript, has revealed that in fact, the
forces engaged on each side numbered exactly one each; the battle
consisted of a disagreement between a Scotsman and an Englishmen who
were drinking together in a public house and who fell out over the
attentions of a bar maid. Neither was killed, since they set upon each
other not with sword and lance but with ale flagon and bar stool, and
when last seen, the combatants were walking away, arm in arm with the
bar maid, in a generally easterly direction. Furthermore, the fight
took place not at Old Sodbury, nor further south at Market Sodbury, nor
even as has been suggested, a bit farther toward London at the hamlet of
Miserable Old Sodbury, but somewhere along Jamaica Street in Glasgow,
some 96 miles to the Northwest. The town council has so far taken no
action to revise or remove the monument.<br />
<h4>
The Diet of Bad Wissenschaft
</h4>
Held in 1560 to reconsider the wisdom of conclusions arrived at the
previous year in the Diet of Bad Entscheidungen. Topics included the
previous year's proclamation of Empire-wide religious tolerance on the
basis of <i>Cujus Bovio Eius Religio</i>. Essentially, it established
Catholicism, Lutheranism, or Calvinism in any given governmental unit
based on who had the best cow.
<br />
<br />
Other contentious issues included the Papal assertion of the divine
right of things and the lengthy and inconclusive war between the
Markgrave of Saxe-Phonendorf and the Elector of OstWestland. This
conflict was prolonged because neither the latter person nor place could
be located.
<br />
<br />
The assembled nobility and clergy were initially inclined to make
substantial changes in these and other, prior measures, but in the
event, no conclusions were reached. This was primarily due to the
proximity of another, more attractive hot-springs town, Bad
Mädchenplatz, to which the delegates essentially transferred the
proceedings. No record was filed of transactions thereafter.<br />
<br />
To be reported In next month's issue:<br />
<ul>
<li>The Late Woodland Bark Biter Culture of Central Ohio</li>
<li>Stocking Sorter's Syndrome
</li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>J. F. McLuggage
</i></div>
ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-774637129862838161.post-57652380415979137622016-11-15T07:00:00.003-08:002018-01-22T11:43:42.878-08:00Senator Kreek Takes a Phone Call<h3>
</h3>
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<br />
So
I was sittin' around, like I usually do, pondering the future of the
universe and man's place in it. Woman's place, too, for that matter.
There was a woman's place, I recall, up in Ishpeming, that we used to
visit ... but I grow prolix.
<br />
<br />
Then this young woman came in, and she said "Senator,
you have a phone call."
I said, "Why, thanks. I will. Have one, yourself." She went back out,
and by coincidence, my phone rang. It does that now and then. So I
picked it up, like I usually do, and set it back down. It kept ringing,
though, so I picked up the other part of it – the part that comes off,
you know – and somebody said "Hello, Senator."<br />
<br />
"Where?",
I said. But that didn't stop him, and he started in on the dire state
of things, both at home and abroad. So I got up and put the phone in the
sink, like I usually do, and I went back to pondering. Got to get my
pondering done, you know. But it got me thinking, thinking how that word
<i>abroad</i> is inherently funny. There are words like that, you know. Words that get a smile, at least. <i>Monkey</i>, for example. And <i>spelt</i>.
I knew a guy up in Michigan, he couldn't hear about spelt but what he'd
start to go on about somebody who was Miss Spelt of 1989 or something.
Claimed his mother was Miss Construed. I used to know some folks named
Construed, but they didn't have any daughters, so it couldn't have been
one of them.<br />
<br />
Anyway, that same person came back into
the office and said Mister Johnson wanted to know why I hung up on him. I
said I wasn't hung up on him, didn't even know him, but she fished the
phone out of the water and handed it to me. It wasn't any Johnson at
all, just some feller named Boris. I tried to tell him he wanted the
State Department, not me. Funny accent, too, for a Russian. But it
turned out, he was looking for a job. Had a long rigmarole about why he
was at liberty. I didn't get it, frankly. I was still pondering. But he
was going on about breakfast or something. Hash breakfast, I thought he
said. Exit was mixed up in it, too. He sounded like a Brit, and that
reminded me that they don't have normal "EXIT" signs over there. They
all say "Way Out". That would never go, here in the US. Too Carnaby
Street for us children of the Sixties.<br />
<br />
Now, those of
you who are payin' attention will remember that I used the word "prolix"
back about four paragraphs ago. One of the things we do down here at
the headwaters is to grow prolix. Got a whole planter of it out back.
There's a few who grind it up and have it with their granoley in the
morning – Paul Ryan, for example – but most of us just smoke it. Keeps
you awake through the filibusters and committee meetings. I tried to
explain to Ivan or Yuri or whoever it was on the phone that I had to go
water the prolix, and that if he wanted a job over here, he ought to
quit fooling around and go see the Bush family. See if they needed any
spare sons-in-law. They're running out of gubernatorial fodder over
there, I hear. Goobers as we call 'em in the Senate lounge. Or with that
accent, the CIA could probably use him as deep cover, spying on the
British or the English or whatever they're calling themselves these
days. He said no, he'd rather not show his face in London, right now. I
said grow a mustache, but that didn't seem to suit.<br />
<br />
I
finally got him to hang up by giving him Michael Moore's phone number.
Told him to play up his acting experience, see if he could get a part in
one of those comedies Moore's always producing. I hear he's got one in
the works, a remake of that Brando thing, Hypotenuse Now or whatever it
was, where a guy goes up a creek. Told Vladimir he could play the
Governor if he didn't mind drinking funny-looking water. So we parted on
a positive note, B flat, I think it was. I told the woman who hangs
around my office that I was going to an agriculture department meeting.
Went out the back door, picked a couple of ounces of prolix, and left
for the day.<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>J. F. McLuggage</i> </div>
ProcArch Presshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09327541373944187279noreply@blogger.com0